"Heeey, you've reached Yang! Well, actually, you didn't reach far enough, 'cause I'm not here right now! But don't yang up! Just leave a message on this baby, and I'll get back to you soon enough, okay?"
[He'd wanted to help many of them, but.] He was the leader of this group of people, Manikins... Demons would take magatsuhi from them or just treat them awfully, so he wanted to find a way for them to live peacefully.
But Chiaki-- killed all of them. And Futomimi. I was right... right there, but she had these demons fight me while... [Well.] ...I thought he was really out there. But it wasn't real, right...?
He wouldn't have called everything I tried to do worthless.
[Even though Naoki's saying that, trying to say it and believe in it, he looks shaken. The memories hurt. Even if he's trying not to blame himself for them and everything that happened, they're painful, the reminder of all the things that he couldn't do.
Hearing it in the voice of someone who he held in high esteem and couldn't save, even if it was just a trick by CERES or something... he...]
[ There's no pause after he finishes speaking. As his words trail off, Yang instantly reaches out to grab his hand, her fingers tightly curling around his.
She'd known instantly that it couldn't have been her father calling her worthless, for the reckless things she'd done as a kid, for almost getting herself and Ruby killed, for still not knowing her reason for becoming a Huntress. But it had hurt, all the same, and Naoki still carries guilt and self-doubt within him-- one look at him confirms as much. Preying on that, hurting him--
Unforgivable. ]
Nothing you did was worthless. Absolutely nothing.
[Naoki's fingers twitch before they respond, curling back with hers, seeking the comfort of her touch. Some part of him still hates that he can't stop himself from these bad feelings (his mind doesn't let him consider that he has begun to get better about it).
His body slumps sideways, his head lowering toward her shoulder, the soft sound he makes thankful.] Mm...
I already know what some of them thought about me. But some of the others... like Futomimi... if they ever came here, I don't know what I'd say to them. Or what they'd say to me.
[And he thinks about the reaction, what it could be, at his inability to act. Or perhaps they wouldn't blame him at all. He doesn't know.]
[Naoki cracks a smile, pressing it into her shoulder. Her support means a lot to him, makes the chance of facing those who died back in his world... less difficult.
It might never happen, he realises, but if it did, some day...
[Naoki squeezes her hand back in answer.] Again... thanks.
It means a lot, and I dunno if I've said that enough. [His forehead rests snug against her shoulder as he closes his eyes. Some of the feelings that'd surged back up when he heard that in Futomimi's voice are easier now.] I'd probably end up going in circles if I tried to face it all by myself again.
[Always circling back to blaming himself, instead of trying to push himself forward from that.]
[ Her free hand drifts up, to rub his back. ] You always end up taking everything on yourself, so if you start feeling heavy and hurt... just talk to me, okay? I'm not going anywhere, Naoki. And you're not responsible for everything.
Okay. [He shifts his own free hand around her body, to hug her as much as he can from this angle.] I will. Things don't really feel as heavy after I talk to you, so I don't got any reason not to, right?
I did, [he'll confirm and lift up his chin, face all expectant.
He knows they have to get going, too, but a kiss before that sounds nice. Even if there's part of him that wants to to lay his head on her shoulder and close his eyes for a while, it's not safe here and they've got to find her team and any others.]
[He finds a way to lean to meet both kiss and her hand, gloved as it may be apart from her fingers. Naoki's hand settles at her waist, just holding for a moment, as long as their kiss lasts.]
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[ "Was", though... actually, hadn't she heard that name before? ]
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[He'd wanted to help many of them, but.] He was the leader of this group of people, Manikins... Demons would take magatsuhi from them or just treat them awfully, so he wanted to find a way for them to live peacefully.
But Chiaki-- killed all of them. And Futomimi. I was right... right there, but she had these demons fight me while... [Well.] ...I thought he was really out there. But it wasn't real, right...?
He wouldn't have called everything I tried to do worthless.
[Even though Naoki's saying that, trying to say it and believe in it, he looks shaken. The memories hurt. Even if he's trying not to blame himself for them and everything that happened, they're painful, the reminder of all the things that he couldn't do.
Hearing it in the voice of someone who he held in high esteem and couldn't save, even if it was just a trick by CERES or something... he...]
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She'd known instantly that it couldn't have been her father calling her worthless, for the reckless things she'd done as a kid, for almost getting herself and Ruby killed, for still not knowing her reason for becoming a Huntress. But it had hurt, all the same, and Naoki still carries guilt and self-doubt within him-- one look at him confirms as much. Preying on that, hurting him--
Unforgivable. ]
Nothing you did was worthless. Absolutely nothing.
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His body slumps sideways, his head lowering toward her shoulder, the soft sound he makes thankful.] Mm...
I already know what some of them thought about me. But some of the others... like Futomimi... if they ever came here, I don't know what I'd say to them. Or what they'd say to me.
[And he thinks about the reaction, what it could be, at his inability to act. Or perhaps they wouldn't blame him at all. He doesn't know.]
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[ Yang sighs, hand still firmly grasping his as she lightly touches their heads together. ]
But I'm sure he knew you wanted to help him. There's no way you wouldn't have shown it. And there's no way I'd let anyone else say otherwise.
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It might never happen, he realises, but if it did, some day...
So with a soft exhale, he murmurs:] Thanks, Yang.
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This included.
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It means a lot, and I dunno if I've said that enough. [His forehead rests snug against her shoulder as he closes his eyes. Some of the feelings that'd surged back up when he heard that in Futomimi's voice are easier now.] I'd probably end up going in circles if I tried to face it all by myself again.
[Always circling back to blaming himself, instead of trying to push himself forward from that.]
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[ Her free hand drifts up, to rub his back. ] You always end up taking everything on yourself, so if you start feeling heavy and hurt... just talk to me, okay? I'm not going anywhere, Naoki. And you're not responsible for everything.
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Okay. [He shifts his own free hand around her body, to hug her as much as he can from this angle.] I will. Things don't really feel as heavy after I talk to you, so I don't got any reason not to, right?
[A go at joking-- soft, but still there.]
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[ SO THERE. ]
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You don't think that's a little extreme? [He's trying not to keep things to himself anyway so this is probably a non-issue but.]
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[ He definitely won't do it now. ]
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[Naoki lifts his head just slightly to prop his chin on her shoulder, peering at her.]
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[Apparently not, given he looks all surprised about it... Naoki...]
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[ NAOKI.... ]
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[ So she moves her hand, over to his chin, tapping. Look at her? ]
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He knows they have to get going, too, but a kiss before that sounds nice. Even if there's part of him that wants to to lay his head on her shoulder and close his eyes for a while, it's not safe here and they've got to find her team and any others.]
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To be continued?
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Yep, when things are settled. [That's a promise. His hand reaches for hers, to draw her up.]
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Let's go settle things, then.
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