"Heeey, you've reached Yang! Well, actually, you didn't reach far enough, 'cause I'm not here right now! But don't yang up! Just leave a message on this baby, and I'll get back to you soon enough, okay?"
[His smile dims down again, and Naoki's silent-- but he's reaching out, trying to sense if anything is incoming. He doesn't feel anything close, so he nods after a minute.]
Let's go over here.
[Toward an area between stores, which'll make sure nothing can come creeping up on them from the shadows.]
[Nothing better jump them if it knows what's good for them...
Naoki follows along beside her, shifting to place his back against the wall when they get there and sinking down slightly. One hand raises to his face, rubbing his palm over it.]
I... thought I saw someone out there, in the snow. From my world.
[Naoki leans his weight slightly sideways, until their shoulders press, as he draws his fingers from his face. A small motion of his head, a nod.] Yeah, Futomimi--
[And he'd mentioned him before but, after a small pause (it feels so fresh, the memories, even though it's been months now, just because of what he saw out there):]
A... well, it was kind of hard to make friends in the Vortex World, but he was one of the closest I got. [You know, and who wasn't planning on turning around and sacrificing him.] He had this ability to see into the near future, so he gave me prophecies sometimes, to help me.
[He'd wanted to help many of them, but.] He was the leader of this group of people, Manikins... Demons would take magatsuhi from them or just treat them awfully, so he wanted to find a way for them to live peacefully.
But Chiaki-- killed all of them. And Futomimi. I was right... right there, but she had these demons fight me while... [Well.] ...I thought he was really out there. But it wasn't real, right...?
He wouldn't have called everything I tried to do worthless.
[Even though Naoki's saying that, trying to say it and believe in it, he looks shaken. The memories hurt. Even if he's trying not to blame himself for them and everything that happened, they're painful, the reminder of all the things that he couldn't do.
Hearing it in the voice of someone who he held in high esteem and couldn't save, even if it was just a trick by CERES or something... he...]
[ There's no pause after he finishes speaking. As his words trail off, Yang instantly reaches out to grab his hand, her fingers tightly curling around his.
She'd known instantly that it couldn't have been her father calling her worthless, for the reckless things she'd done as a kid, for almost getting herself and Ruby killed, for still not knowing her reason for becoming a Huntress. But it had hurt, all the same, and Naoki still carries guilt and self-doubt within him-- one look at him confirms as much. Preying on that, hurting him--
Unforgivable. ]
Nothing you did was worthless. Absolutely nothing.
[Naoki's fingers twitch before they respond, curling back with hers, seeking the comfort of her touch. Some part of him still hates that he can't stop himself from these bad feelings (his mind doesn't let him consider that he has begun to get better about it).
His body slumps sideways, his head lowering toward her shoulder, the soft sound he makes thankful.] Mm...
I already know what some of them thought about me. But some of the others... like Futomimi... if they ever came here, I don't know what I'd say to them. Or what they'd say to me.
[And he thinks about the reaction, what it could be, at his inability to act. Or perhaps they wouldn't blame him at all. He doesn't know.]
[Naoki cracks a smile, pressing it into her shoulder. Her support means a lot to him, makes the chance of facing those who died back in his world... less difficult.
It might never happen, he realises, but if it did, some day...
[Naoki squeezes her hand back in answer.] Again... thanks.
It means a lot, and I dunno if I've said that enough. [His forehead rests snug against her shoulder as he closes his eyes. Some of the feelings that'd surged back up when he heard that in Futomimi's voice are easier now.] I'd probably end up going in circles if I tried to face it all by myself again.
[Always circling back to blaming himself, instead of trying to push himself forward from that.]
[ Her free hand drifts up, to rub his back. ] You always end up taking everything on yourself, so if you start feeling heavy and hurt... just talk to me, okay? I'm not going anywhere, Naoki. And you're not responsible for everything.
Okay. [He shifts his own free hand around her body, to hug her as much as he can from this angle.] I will. Things don't really feel as heavy after I talk to you, so I don't got any reason not to, right?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
They weren't that tough in the end, huh? [He moves to touch her arm with his other hand... yes, of course he's healing her.]
no subject
... And I'm fine.
[ NAOKI PLS. ]
no subject
[With a quirk of his lips into a little smile as he brushes his palm down her arm before moving to step back.]
no subject
So, do we have time to talk about what's got you down?
no subject
Let's go over here.
[Toward an area between stores, which'll make sure nothing can come creeping up on them from the shadows.]
no subject
no subject
Naoki follows along beside her, shifting to place his back against the wall when they get there and sinking down slightly. One hand raises to his face, rubbing his palm over it.]
I... thought I saw someone out there, in the snow. From my world.
no subject
Someone important?
no subject
[And he'd mentioned him before but, after a small pause (it feels so fresh, the memories, even though it's been months now, just because of what he saw out there):]
A... well, it was kind of hard to make friends in the Vortex World, but he was one of the closest I got. [You know, and who wasn't planning on turning around and sacrificing him.] He had this ability to see into the near future, so he gave me prophecies sometimes, to help me.
no subject
[ "Was", though... actually, hadn't she heard that name before? ]
no subject
[He'd wanted to help many of them, but.] He was the leader of this group of people, Manikins... Demons would take magatsuhi from them or just treat them awfully, so he wanted to find a way for them to live peacefully.
But Chiaki-- killed all of them. And Futomimi. I was right... right there, but she had these demons fight me while... [Well.] ...I thought he was really out there. But it wasn't real, right...?
He wouldn't have called everything I tried to do worthless.
[Even though Naoki's saying that, trying to say it and believe in it, he looks shaken. The memories hurt. Even if he's trying not to blame himself for them and everything that happened, they're painful, the reminder of all the things that he couldn't do.
Hearing it in the voice of someone who he held in high esteem and couldn't save, even if it was just a trick by CERES or something... he...]
no subject
She'd known instantly that it couldn't have been her father calling her worthless, for the reckless things she'd done as a kid, for almost getting herself and Ruby killed, for still not knowing her reason for becoming a Huntress. But it had hurt, all the same, and Naoki still carries guilt and self-doubt within him-- one look at him confirms as much. Preying on that, hurting him--
Unforgivable. ]
Nothing you did was worthless. Absolutely nothing.
no subject
His body slumps sideways, his head lowering toward her shoulder, the soft sound he makes thankful.] Mm...
I already know what some of them thought about me. But some of the others... like Futomimi... if they ever came here, I don't know what I'd say to them. Or what they'd say to me.
[And he thinks about the reaction, what it could be, at his inability to act. Or perhaps they wouldn't blame him at all. He doesn't know.]
no subject
[ Yang sighs, hand still firmly grasping his as she lightly touches their heads together. ]
But I'm sure he knew you wanted to help him. There's no way you wouldn't have shown it. And there's no way I'd let anyone else say otherwise.
no subject
It might never happen, he realises, but if it did, some day...
So with a soft exhale, he murmurs:] Thanks, Yang.
no subject
This included.
no subject
It means a lot, and I dunno if I've said that enough. [His forehead rests snug against her shoulder as he closes his eyes. Some of the feelings that'd surged back up when he heard that in Futomimi's voice are easier now.] I'd probably end up going in circles if I tried to face it all by myself again.
[Always circling back to blaming himself, instead of trying to push himself forward from that.]
no subject
[ Her free hand drifts up, to rub his back. ] You always end up taking everything on yourself, so if you start feeling heavy and hurt... just talk to me, okay? I'm not going anywhere, Naoki. And you're not responsible for everything.
no subject
Okay. [He shifts his own free hand around her body, to hug her as much as he can from this angle.] I will. Things don't really feel as heavy after I talk to you, so I don't got any reason not to, right?
[A go at joking-- soft, but still there.]
no subject
[ SO THERE. ]
no subject
You don't think that's a little extreme? [He's trying not to keep things to himself anyway so this is probably a non-issue but.]
no subject
[ He definitely won't do it now. ]
no subject
[Naoki lifts his head just slightly to prop his chin on her shoulder, peering at her.]
no subject
no subject
[Apparently not, given he looks all surprised about it... Naoki...]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)