"Heeey, you've reached Yang! Well, actually, you didn't reach far enough, 'cause I'm not here right now! But don't yang up! Just leave a message on this baby, and I'll get back to you soon enough, okay?"
[He flinches (in surprise more than anything), bringing his palm up to his forehead and leaning back.
But, he wants to say, but he should've, he should've realised, especially how everyone was using him, down to Hijiri, and he opens his mouth but takes a second look at Yang and stops himself.]
Obviously, I don't know everything you've been through, but I'd like to think I know you by now. And the Naoki I know is the kind of guy who worries way too much about other people and tries to look out for others. If you don't have an answer, you do what you can to learn it. And you're trying to restore the world to the way it was, even if apparently everyone else wants you to do what they want.
[ She shakes her head, eyes still narrowed. ]
If you were fooled, it wasn't because you were gullible. It was because you were surrounded by a bunch of jerks who wanted to take advantage of you.
[Naoki's gaze cuts off to one side, a peculiar lump in his throat.
It's hard enough that he can't even say anything in response to her at first. He hunches over slightly, his hand raising up, curling underneath the horn at his neck. His fingers are tense, knuckles blanching.]
We haven't even known each other that long, [he says after a long moment, in a very quiet voice,] but you already get me that much. [She didn't say anything wrong at all. He hadn't thought she'd say all of that.] Even Isamu and Chiaki didn't get it or, at least, they stopped trying to understand.
...they were two of the people who had Reasons, you know.
[ You're not that hard to understand, she thinks. Solitary at first, but he wasn't really like that at all, and she's seen enough in training, during the times they'd just hung out-- how could anyone claim to know him and not see any of what she'd just said?
But as he continues, Yang stiffens, her blood running cold. Wait-- ]
Our... homeroom teacher was sick, or so she said, and she called us to the hospital where she was staying. Because we were there, all of us survived the Conception. But we were split up a little before it happened... and by the time I met up with them again in the Vortex World, I was like this.
[He lowers his hands, rubbing one over the other, fingers curled against the marks.]
I kept looking for them, but we kept splitting up, again and again. They wanted to make their Reasons.
... [ She reaches out now, grasping one of his hands and wrapping her fingers around it. She has no idea what to say, in order to be supportive-- so hopefully this helps convey the sentiment. ]
[Naoki lets her and while his face is blank, not conveying the wealth of feelings he has about this, his hand is so tense it must hurt him. It's only when the warmth of her fingers starts to sink in that his fingers twitch, loosening from a locked position and slightly curling.]
Yeah. And I wouldn't-- I couldn't support their Reasons. For them, it was probably just the same as me betraying them.
[And in the end isn't that exactly what he did-- he killed them, after all.]
[ It's perhaps her sisterly instinct that prompts her to take further action, or the memory of what Naoki had done after she'd dealt with Yurlungur's electricity, but as his fingers twitch, Yang draws his hand closer and wraps her other hand around it to press and knead at his palm with her thumbs.
As she does, she frowns. ]
Maybe so. But the Reasons you told me... if you'd sided with any of those, you'd be betraying yourself even more, right? Isn't friendship about accepting the people close to you, whether their opinions match up with yours or not?
[ Yang and Blake didn't see eye-to-eye all the time, but even then... hadn't her entire team searched for her for hours when she'd gone missing? Hadn't Ruby and Weiss reconciled, despite their differences? She can't understand this. ]
[Naoki blinks, as though pulled out of a deep daze, when Yang's thumbs press into his palm. He looks down at it, at her fingers, before looking at her face and her frown. Ah... He curls his fingers in response, gently flexing them.]
I thought that, too. I tried to understand, I mean, I thought I did get some of it. Roughly why they were going with the Reasons that they were, why they'd want worlds like that, and I kept chasing after them 'cause I wanted to talk with them.
[But no-one ever asked him so much what he wanted.]
I think they came to see me as a demon. The Demi-fiend.
[It's plagued him, too. The tenseness of his hand is slowly loosening as she presses her fingers into his skin, though. Feeling a wash of tiredness, he shakes his head.]
[That's right. And Isamu and Chiaki had... they'd...
They'd gone at every opportunity. Lashed out at him when he'd failed. Used him. His fingers twitch, curling. Killed and sacrificed and he wishes things had been different he misses them and yet he doesn't want to see them again.] I know you are. Though I still regret a lot.
That's fine. It's not like there aren't things that I still kind of regret. [ She won't tell him not to lament the more painful things that have happened. ] You were hurt. It's okay to be sad about it.
[ She squeezes his hand between hers. ]
But don't ever feel like it was because you didn't do enough, Naoki. You fought really hard, didn't you?
[But there's humour despite a telling quaver in his voice. His head ducks down lower before he just gives in and turns it to the side, resting it against her shoulder. No, don't look at him. No, he's not crying. He hasn't for this long.
It's complicated.] You know, I... I need to apologise to you for something, Yang.
Because for a while, I've been trying not to trust you.
[And he lifts his head away from her shoulder at this, knowing the way it sounds, his hand pulling slightly against her grip. Guilt. His tone doesn't hide it well.] But you trust me.
[ She won't deny that I've been trying not to trust you hurts a little, and she's sure he'll feel that, but even as the thought twinges in her chest, her grip tightens on his hand. No, don't. ]
With what happened with your friends, I get why you'd have problems with it. And it's not like we've known each other as long, like you said.
... But I trust you. And you can trust me, when you're ready to. Or not-- it's not going to make me hate you.
[He did, and it hurts him to feel, but what surprises him is how her grip tightens. He stops trying to pull away immediately, his hand going lax in hers as he looks at her.]
I... I'm telling you 'cause I want to stop doubting. I can't do it anymore, not with you. [He wants to just be able to trust normally again, like a normal person. He wants to trust her.
Yang, who's said so many things to him that mean so much and she's sure she doesn't even realise.]
There's a lot more things you should know about me, too. I... don't think I can say them right now, but when I can... I will. And no matter how you think of me after, it'll be fine.
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Thanks. Though... I shoulda realised what was going on sooner.
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Your world got destroyed, you were pretty much alone, there were these weird Reasons...
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...Yeah. But I let myself get fooled a lot. I was gullible.
[He says it... like he's heard that quite a few times from others.]
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Hey, Naoki-- [ and she crooks a finger, beckoning. C'mere a bit. ]
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[Immediately leans closer with a confused face like what.]
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And flick him on the forehead. ]
You didn't have a whole lot to go on, did you? That doesn't make you gullible, dummy.
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[He flinches (in surprise more than anything), bringing his palm up to his forehead and leaning back.
But, he wants to say, but he should've, he should've realised, especially how everyone was using him, down to Hijiri, and he opens his mouth but takes a second look at Yang and stops himself.]
You really think so?
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[ She shakes her head, eyes still narrowed. ]
If you were fooled, it wasn't because you were gullible. It was because you were surrounded by a bunch of jerks who wanted to take advantage of you.
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It's hard enough that he can't even say anything in response to her at first. He hunches over slightly, his hand raising up, curling underneath the horn at his neck. His fingers are tense, knuckles blanching.]
We haven't even known each other that long, [he says after a long moment, in a very quiet voice,] but you already get me that much. [She didn't say anything wrong at all. He hadn't thought she'd say all of that.] Even Isamu and Chiaki didn't get it or, at least, they stopped trying to understand.
...they were two of the people who had Reasons, you know.
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But as he continues, Yang stiffens, her blood running cold. Wait-- ]
Your friends?
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Our... homeroom teacher was sick, or so she said, and she called us to the hospital where she was staying. Because we were there, all of us survived the Conception. But we were split up a little before it happened... and by the time I met up with them again in the Vortex World, I was like this.
[He lowers his hands, rubbing one over the other, fingers curled against the marks.]
I kept looking for them, but we kept splitting up, again and again. They wanted to make their Reasons.
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They wanted you to choose?
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Yeah. And I wouldn't-- I couldn't support their Reasons. For them, it was probably just the same as me betraying them.
[And in the end isn't that exactly what he did-- he killed them, after all.]
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As she does, she frowns. ]
Maybe so. But the Reasons you told me... if you'd sided with any of those, you'd be betraying yourself even more, right? Isn't friendship about accepting the people close to you, whether their opinions match up with yours or not?
[ Yang and Blake didn't see eye-to-eye all the time, but even then... hadn't her entire team searched for her for hours when she'd gone missing? Hadn't Ruby and Weiss reconciled, despite their differences? She can't understand this. ]
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I thought that, too. I tried to understand, I mean, I thought I did get some of it. Roughly why they were going with the Reasons that they were, why they'd want worlds like that, and I kept chasing after them 'cause I wanted to talk with them.
[But no-one ever asked him so much what he wanted.]
I think they came to see me as a demon. The Demi-fiend.
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It's not like you stopped being Naoki, so why was that so hard to get?
[ If they were his friends, why hadn't they bothered to listen? ]
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[It's plagued him, too. The tenseness of his hand is slowly loosening as she presses her fingers into his skin, though. Feeling a wash of tiredness, he shakes his head.]
I don't know what I should've done.
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[ She can't say it for certain, but she's nearly positive that Naoki did all that he could have done, without compromising his morals. ]
Friend's a two-way thing. You can go as far as you can, but if the other person won't try to meet you, it won't work.
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[That's right. And Isamu and Chiaki had... they'd...
They'd gone at every opportunity. Lashed out at him when he'd failed. Used him. His fingers twitch, curling. Killed and sacrificed and he wishes things had been different he misses them and yet he doesn't want to see them again.] I know you are. Though I still regret a lot.
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[ She squeezes his hand between hers. ]
But don't ever feel like it was because you didn't do enough, Naoki. You fought really hard, didn't you?
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[But there's humour despite a telling quaver in his voice. His head ducks down lower before he just gives in and turns it to the side, resting it against her shoulder. No, don't look at him. No, he's not crying. He hasn't for this long.
It's complicated.] You know, I... I need to apologise to you for something, Yang.
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Why me?
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[And he lifts his head away from her shoulder at this, knowing the way it sounds, his hand pulling slightly against her grip. Guilt. His tone doesn't hide it well.] But you trust me.
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With what happened with your friends, I get why you'd have problems with it. And it's not like we've known each other as long, like you said.
... But I trust you. And you can trust me, when you're ready to. Or not-- it's not going to make me hate you.
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I... I'm telling you 'cause I want to stop doubting. I can't do it anymore, not with you. [He wants to just be able to trust normally again, like a normal person. He wants to trust her.
Yang, who's said so many things to him that mean so much and she's sure she doesn't even realise.]
There's a lot more things you should know about me, too. I... don't think I can say them right now, but when I can... I will. And no matter how you think of me after, it'll be fine.
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